RudiHilary
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit RudiHilary's Xanga Site!

Interests: Hey, my name is rUdi! my birthday is On nOv.26! i gO tO blackstOck jr high schOol, 8th grader.!im 5'3". i live in ghettO Oxnard.!! ii like talking tO pple On the phOne, chatting Online, listening to music, gOing Out wid friends, gOin tO the mall,spending mOney, watching t.v, hanging wid the fam., gOin tO the park, being myself and nOt like Others, bein lOud, bein crazy, being UniqUe, gOin tO the beach, playiing viideO games , ii lOve fOod..whO dOesn't.., ii live fOr chocolate, any kind!, ii like to shOp wid my bestest/awesOme buddy KarEn! yOu rOck! well thatz abOut it..have any questiOns..im me!
Occupation: Student


Message: message me
AIM: Rudihilary


Member Since: 5/22/2004

SubscriptionsSites I Read
A__MUSIC__X
AkA_SmiL33
aLl__QuOtEz_xO
allthebest_QU0TES
aloha_layouts
aLwAyz_x_quOtEz
AXx_MuSiC_XxA
aZn_PhAnTaSy_DrEaMeRz
aZn_v1eTs_grLy
AzNxDoRkDoRkxbOi_xD
Baby_Kat93030
Backgrounds_IndEx
BaNNeR_LaDy
BaSkEtbalLoVeR
BEAUTiiFUL_QU0TESzx
Big_Flip_Dude
Blackstock_Junior_High_School
Buddyz
Christina_Milian_4_U
Chugga_Chugga_cho0_ch0o
codez_4u
codez101
crazy_layouts
crissymac
CuTe_imAgez
Da_layOutS_yOu_wAnt
dl0olbxFliP
DOPExMUSiC
dork_faze
DUNlaffCUZweLAME
fOrEvA_iN_yOuR_eYeZ
fOrEvEr_iSh_nOt_eNoUgH
freaksrcool
GEErard
guitars_rock_alot
hAhA_iTS_YOUR_m0m
hayliexduff
HeArTbReAkErR_x0
hilarysweet
I_cons
i_sleep_like_a_cacahead
i_tiNK_I_aM_iN_loVe
iCONSiCONSand_yet_more_iCONS
If_I_Wuz_The_One
iFiWaSthEonE
IHaVeOnEWisH
ii_HEARTxLAY0UTS
j2essICA
j2gundtar
j2ungtar
jUsTaLiLd0Rkii
kAnt_gEt_ovEr_yOoH
kOrOkOdUd
krazY4riCe
kstBff4OrLyFe04
kutE_AsNChicK69
layouts4you_xo
LaYoUtSaNdmOr3
LiL_AzN_tHuGgIn
LiLaZnFliP143
lildogduff
lilPicz4ursite
LiLPinkii
lItTlE_oNeS
Luv_2_Bone
Luv_iz_timelezz
MaCstal91
marmaryells
mIMiRuDiEsyTe269
mimo_daisy
mimo_gurl87
MuSiC_4_yA
mUsIc_AdDiCtIoN_4LyF
MuSiC_fRoM_AzA
Music_Galore
mY_wOrLd_NoT_uRz
nefetirriewicca
NuMbA1_MuSiC_sOuRcE
NumberOneHelper2
o_Om2O_o
o0oXanger_Imagezo0o
OlD_BuDdY
OnE_kRaZiE_pNoY
OoSweet_LayoutzOo
perfectlayouts
PinOy_BaLLa_fO_LyFe
pn0ybo1meeh
pnay9
punkagurlxxx
quotes_for_you
Qwotes_Jus_4_u
r0xY_BaLlA805
RamiReZ_TwiN_TiGerZ
reydomicapero
RudiHilary
SHARRALOU
something_2_remember
StarzRMyOnlyHope
teenlover
thoughtsofmine
THUG_ETERNAL
TWIRLemFLAGSnSHAKEit
two_crazy_grlz
TwO_PiNk_DoRketTe_s
ugly_half_pnay
uN_PerFecTioN_mE
UrmYoNlYhoPe
username
WhO_bE_dAt_LuCkiE_AzNiZt
WHo_THe_HeLL_R_U
x_aLwAyZ_dReAmInG_x
x3__quOtes
Xanga_Awards
xAnGe3er_htmLNiMaGez
xAnGe3eriCoNz
XaNgE3eRmUsIc
XangerMusic_v2
XANGUH_BANNERS
xi_MISSdre_ix
xlilheradob0ix
xlipglossx91
xLoLiPoP_LaYoUtx
xmAi_hAppY_eNdiNgx
xrheaisadorkx
Xx_LuV_those_IcOnS_xX
xX_nLaaLuArha_Xx
xXCandi_LayoutzXx

Blogrings
-->-> BuG jUiCe RoCkS tHe HiZzOuSe <-<--
previous - random - next

I LOVE FULL HOUSE!
previous - random - next

- OxNARD - 805 -
previous - random - next

:+:i <3 BoBa/JaMbA jUiCe/StArBuCkS..Fo ShO:+:
previous - random - next

..*jaMbA jUiCe*..
previous - random - next

[YELLOWCARD]
previous - random - next

* S h o p a h o l i c <3 *
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Thursday, April 14, 2005

 

* for the onEz wh0 d0nt understaNd -
    WALK A  M i L E  iN MY  SHOES--
     see what -i- see ,    and    feel what -i-
       feel .. then you`ll realiZe --why ii do
            ..what ii do ..

-Ever feel like the fog is never gonna lift,
Like the rain is just gonna keep pourin,
And the sun will never shine again.
Ever feel like the earth stopped spinning,
Like the world's just not turnin,
And it'll never be the same again.
Ever feel like there's noone there,
Nobody to listen or care,
And your screams can't be heard.
Ever feel like you've been stripped away,
Everything meaningfull taken away.
And you have nothing left to grasp.
Ever feel like you can't catch your breath,
It hurts to laugh but you don't dare cry,
And you can't hold on another day.
Ever wonder where it comes from,
The hurt and the pain,
And every day just feels like a game.

_* l0tS of lauGhz * aNd m0meNtz that briNg teArz ,
         aLWaYZ trUe thr0UgH aLl thesE yEaRz ,
        taLkiNg f0r hOurz on the phOne --
        eAch0thErz h0uses = oUr secOnd hoMe..
        s0meThing that PRECiOUS, y0u caNt -
                  BREAK, OR BEND  ..
  we`Ll *ALWAYZ* . be -BEST FRiENDS-

_* iTz fuNny h0w much -SHiT- people can
         talk behind my back, but when they're
          confronted-- they're lyke .."damn .. who
            told you that ..?.."

_* i`m   ALONE in this world --
            facing ALL my fears ..
        with one FAKE smile ..
and a bunch of useless tears <33

my best qirlsz » the true definition of the best
nothinq could ever compare to the friendship
i have with these qirlsz. i would die for them '
without even thinking bout it at the same time.

_* behiNd all the FAKE smiles ii sh0w --
          theres aLot about this grl that you --
                 DONT know ..
     ii try SO hard ..just to say "i`m okaii ."
     .tryin not to cry, and make it through .
              ..another daii..

                                                             RuDi


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

*-* So many laughs through the years*-*
*-* And a few stories i hope no one hears*-*
*-* I'll always be by your side*-*
*-* Best friends forever till the day we die*-*

LiFe TaKeS Ya DrEaMz
-N- TuRnZ Em UpSiDe DoWn
fRiEnDz TaLk aBoUt YoU
WeN YoU AiNt aRoUnD
PpL MaKe PrOMiSeS
ThAt tHeY JuSt DoNt KeEp
iVe CoMe To ReaLiZe tHat
TaLk iS ChEaP

b e t r a y a l
l i e s
r u m o r s
t r u t h
the true p a i n Of life

((*-Mah TeArZ aRe 2 mAnY-))
((-Mah SmILez R 2 FeW-))
((-LiFez gOtTeN hArDa-))
((-iM tRyiN 2 b sTrOnGa-))
((-Im TrYiN 2 LeArN-))
((-To Do Da rIgHt tHiNGz-))
((-BuT eVeRyThING i Do-))
((-JuS aInT eNuFf-))
((-i Waz nEva wArNeD-))
((dAt LiFe wUd b dIs TuFf-))

 
iM OnLy mE aNd tHaTz aLL i CaN bE
No MoRe ..No LeSs ..DoNt 2Nd GUeSS
i LaUgH-i LuV- i LiVe- i CrY
aNd SuMtiMez iVe WiShEd DaT i WoULd DiE
SuM DaYz iM FuNny OtHaZ im NoT
SuMeTiMeZ iM iN OVaDriVe & i CaNt StOp
u mAy NoT LiKe Me bUt thaTs oK
tHiS iS mE aNd HoW i'LL -aLwAyz- sTaY
*I tElL mYsElF iTz AlRiTe-I sAy I hAvE nO rEgReTsbUt ThErEz SuMtHiN u ShOuLd KnO...-i FoRgIvE bUt I *dOnT* fOrGeT-
 
 
 

x:.)*)* b 3 s t . f R i 3 n D s *(*(.:x
* a prOmise n0t a label *
* a sh0ulder t0 cry 0n *
* an ear t0 bend *
* m0ney t0 b0rr0w and *
* cl0theS t0 lenD *
* friday niqht hanq 0uts *
* afterno0n walkS *
* 2 am ph0ne caLls *
* N privaTe talkS *
* 0uR mem0rieSz t0qether *
* will never end *
* alwayS & --f 0 r E v E r-- we`ll be the *
.* - - » b 3 s t . 0 f . f r i 3 n d S « - - *.

please just don't play with me,
my paperheart will bleed

 
 
they ignore eachother & look the
other* way ; but they both know
deep down inside, that it wasn`t
supposed to end this way 

when your sad, they say "think of the good times"
but how can you when it just makes you `sadder*
because you soon realize    what your missing

the room starts to spin as i lay on the floor
i`m used to the chills- i've had them before
i begin to drift away as my eyes begin to -
close   \\   once again hiding what nobody'
knows. i wake to a shouting voice  - -  it`s
time for me to go ; another day of [ hiding ]
secrets    <|3    that no one will ever know

Take out the picture
Blow off the dust
 Take off the frame
 It's starting to rust
Remember the time
We had together
 What ever happen to
 Best Friends Forever

/You're no longer wanted|
 |In this world of mine|
|You're no longer needed|
 |In this fight for life|

i L00K AT ALL THE PiCTURES i T00K
AS i SiT & FLiP THR0UGH THiS B00K
ALL THE MEM0RiES RUN THR0UGH
MY HEAD, AS I SiT & CRY 0N MY BED

                                                               RuDi


 


Monday, April 11, 2005

i want it to be how it use to be.I miss how we use to hang out. How our phone calls were pointless but fun. I miss those long walks when we would just talk about LiFe.I miss those pictures and how they were so crazy. Yeah..I still look at those everyday..hoping we could go back and be those two girls that people could never separate. We were like sisters..and there's no doubt in my mind that we could go back to being best friends forever. Don't get me wrong..when I hear your name I will always say "yeah..shes my best friend"..its the thought that comes to my mind..and the scariest thought ever is thinking that we would stop being friends. i love you and miss you..and i promise we can go back to normal. you'll always come first in my book..and when i hear your name..crazy thoughts, and all the fun times we've had will always flash through..you're my best friend..and I can't imagine me without you<3

 

*-You called me your pal, your best friend.
But you never told me that this would end.
Allthe
backstabbing, gossip, rumors and lies.

ive been asking and wonder the question...
why?

boys will bre/ak ur heart,
friends will \BeTraY/ you,
parents will seem too .StRiCt,
and life might [annoy] you.
but you should always remember that theres a purpose
for these things to be happening to us
so keep ur head up and ur spirits |high|
because if you don't...
life will just p a s s____you by

 

why is it that when
ur little ur parents
teach you to
walk and talk
then when you get older
all you hear is to
sit down and shut up

 

unless you've lived my life .
- - don't judqe me because '`
you don't know, never have `
and never will know every  ;;
little thing & detail about me.

 

 

׺×SoMeTiMeZ aLl U cAn Do׺×
׺×Is SmiLe N WaLk AwAy׺×
׺×HiDe Ur TeArS׺×
׺×N pReTeNd U r OkAy׺×

 

 

                                                    

                                              RuDi


Sunday, April 10, 2005

-have you ever just been sitting there minding your own business when you hear that sad song come on the radio you just start to cry & you just cant stop. because at that moment all you want to do is say how you feel
 
 
>>I am happy yet I'm sad. It's like I have everything yet I'm missing something. I just can't seem to put my finger on it. I can't seem to smile. Most of the time I want to cry. everyday I try but I get nowhere. I'm on the verge of falling. I am holding on the edge. I can't let go and for some reason I have no control
 
 
True friends try to lift each other, help one another aim for worthy goals and make the right desicion. This means you must choose your friends wisely, and guide them wisely. Because being a friend doesn't always mean saying, doing, or advising the things your friend wants you to. It means telling the truth, giving the right advice, even tho you know it might hurt a little. A true friend is the one who speaks from the heart, and stays to comfort if the truth hurts
 
 
 i probably shouldnt be telling you this but no matter what you do to me, i'm still here ... for some crazy reason i'll stick around thru the bad times-& the fights .. i'll make up excuses for why you didn't call, why you never cared'' i'll keep coming back for more even when you push me away. i think i'm just staying around so that 1 day when i finally do leave for good, you'll look back & say wow, that girl really did love me.
 
 
 
THERE`Sz 0NLY 0NE THiNG W0RSE THAN FAMiLY PR0BLEMSz » FRiEND PR0BLEMSz » BECAUSE iN A FAMiLY PR0BLEM .. Y0UU HAVE Y0UR FRiENDSz H0LDiN` Y0UR BACK. WiTH FRiEND PR0BLEMSz .. THE FRiEND Y0UU NEED T0 BE THERE iS USUALLY THE 0NE Y0U`RE FiGHTiNG WiTH
 
 
 
you've lied to me so many times, you've broken me and made me cry, i cant take it anymore im giving up on you.
 
 
 
 
i look at all the pictures
of the past thinking of how
the years went by soo fast
the dances,the parties, the jokes and the laughs
the shoulders to cry on and cute photographs
the people i`ve known since way back when
the new kids who came every now and then
the friendships you make come and go
but theres always those few
you’ll always know
now as we go our separate ways
i know ill always remember these days...
 
 
 
 
dO yOu ever juSt qeT thaT ~ feeLinG ~ wheRe'
yOu dOnT wanT tO __ taLk tO `'*'´ anybOdy
yOu dOnT wanT tO =[ smiLe ]= anD yOu dOnT`
wanT tO fake beinG haPpy - buT aT the [saMe TiMe]
yOu dOnt knOw exaCtLy whaT is - wrOnG eiTheR
theRe iSnT a way tO expLain iT tO sOmeOne whO *
dOeSnT aLreaDy unDersTanD - if yOu cOuLd wanT
anyThinG in the wOrLd iT wOuLd be tO be aLone
peOpLe have stOpPeD beinG *` c O m f O r T i n G
anD beinG aLone neveR waS - aT LeasT wheN
yOu*re aLone . nO One cOnsTantLy aSks yOu ´*:•.
*:•. whaT is wrOnG ? anD theRe iSnT anyOne whO
wOnT take " ii dOnT knOw " fOr an anSweR `
yOu feeL the way yOu dO juSt -» b e C a u S e
yOu hOpe the .feeLinG. wilL paSs sOon anD'
thaT yOu wilL be abLe tO be [[* yOurSeLf *]] aGain
buT unTiL then . alL yOu can dO iS w a i T /
 
 
 
"Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch ur heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just becuase it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life."
 
 
 
yOu used to be my friend. . 
 ii used to knOw yOu. . .
now we act like we don`t even know eachother
 
 
 
SoMe GiRlZ aRe liKe pEnNyZ...
2 f Ac E d & w O r T h L e S s
 
 
I’m Tired Of The Judgment* I'm Tired Of The Looks*
I’m Tired Of People Saying "That Girls No Good"*
I’m My Own Person* I’m Not Like You* So Stop
Judging Me* Cuz This Girl Has Been Through So
Much More Than *you*
 
 
 

im a strong girl keeping my shit in line ..
even when the tears are streaming down my face
i still manage to say the words im fine

h a v e you ever had
that empty feeling inside ;
like no one cares or loves
you back ; feeling as if
you were to cry ; no
one would be there to
wipe away the t e a r s-

never ever give up hOpE
the [w o r l d s] to precious
to give up and -leave- it all

Dear Diary,
Remind me to never judge how
well I know a person, cuz the 1
person I thought I knew best,
-i don't even know anymore-

 

 

                                                            RuDi*

                                                                              


Thursday, April 07, 2005

  

===================================

i feel like we aren't as clOse as befOre! girl. yOu were my best friend..we were like peanut butter and jelly! i was there fOr yOu left and right..sO dOn't even say i changed/ Or i left yOu fOr my Other friends..? ! everytime yOu started drama..i alwayz backed yOu up! even thOugh i had nOthing to dO wid it! yea..we might ignOre eachOther/ Or dOgg eachOther Out..but i guess i miss yOu!! nOone compares tO yOu! yOu alwayz new what tO say tO make me smile, when i was dOwn! is it me? or maybe i just need to hit reality..? what dO i dO? i can't talk tO anyOne..i've lOst my best friend!

*----I look at all the pictures I took as I sit and flip through this book. All the memories run through my head and I sit and cry on my bed
 

*---I loved you so much i cant take this pain, im about to break down and go insane. without you here its hard to get through, you were a great friend im sad i lost you.

*----I really am one of those girls who crys myself to sleep at night. you probably never would have even guessed i was one of those girls. but then again almost every girl crys herself to sleep these days thanx to the lack of caring we get.

*----Remember i will be there when your life goes hectic and wrong i'm always here to help you i've been here all along Messing up really hits you hard. I know that now. I've lost the one person I've ever felt close enough to share my secrets with. Does that not mean anything? At all? I can admit my mistakes, I can admit that I hurt you. But after everything, isn't there not the slightest chance that we can work things out? Even if it means having to start from the very beginning. I'm willing. Are you?

those feelings that` are the most painful are those ones that nobody can explain no quote can describe.. '& no tears or smiles can make them go away.*they're the ones that hurt the deepest the`ones that last the longest & take F0REVER to forget about

===================================


                                           RuDi



Next 5 >>

hOlla @ uR guRl


<bgsound src="http://a420.v8383d.c8383.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/420/8383/3b858b51/mtvrdstr.download.akamai.com/8512/wmp/1/4434/5359_1_5_04.asf" loop="infinite">